Why I’ve Stopped Taking Unpaid Discovery Calls

I finally said “no.” An employee of an organization with an annual operating budget of over a million dollars asked me to have a phone call to discuss needs around DEIJ – without offering to pay for it – and I declined. Some context: I’d already held not one, but TWO video conferences (and you know how I abhor video conferences), with two high-level staff members in the organization, and exchanged numerous emails to schedule the meetings, provide background, and follow up on our conversations. I prepared for both video conferences by reading up on the organization’s board of directors and current relevant projects online. I “got ready” (a.k.a. got “professionally” presentable) for those meetings. On the second video conference, I gave an outline of what I thought the organization needed based on their disclosure of information of where they were with respect to DEIJ, took scrupulous notes about additional information they shared, and detailed how I would approach the work if the organization were to contract with me. In total, I’d say I spent roughly four hours on preparation for and communication with this prospective client. I charge $250/hour for general consulting services; in effect, I am in the hole for $1K with respect to this organization.

So, when four months after my last video conference, I received an email from yet another employee of the organization asking to speak with me AGAIN about a potential one-day DEIJ training, I stated firmly yet politely that I could not extend any more unpaid conversations to this organization.

This took A LOT of deliberation and courage on my part; like so many women and especially, women who come from limited means, asking for what I deserve has historically been challenging. In the face of the conditioning I’ve received throughout my early career which sent explicit and implicit messages that I should be grateful, groveling, and limitlessly generous in the face of any prospective opportunity for income, replying to that email with “only if you pay me” was really hard. Notwithstanding the fact that I’d already given them two calls. On video. With advice. For a potential opportunity that would only amount to four figures. Yep, the conditioning is that bad.

If you’ve followed me since I began consulting in 2021, you might notice I have a tendency to write articles beginning with “Why I” with point-by-point explanations for some of my less-than-popular and culture-bucking choices.

The reasons for this are manifold:

1. I save myself the time and energy of explaining myself repeatedly – I can literally send people my article in advance, to set expectations;

2. I foster solidarity with and help others feel stronger in their own convictions around these issues (this was especially true about my anti-camera piece, through which I formed a TON of connections with folks who reject the camera-on culture);

3. I ward off wasted time and the likelihood of a bad taste in my mouth from dealing with misaligned clients and partners.

Fun fact: This last point is similar to the approach I took in online dating. I wrote right up front in my profile, “if any part of you likes Trump, keep it moving.” That level of transparency about a core dealbreaker actually gave my husband fodder for his opening line in our courtship, and I’m sure it saved me the headache of conversations with Trump supporters. But I digress.

So, without further ado, here is why I will no longer do unpaid discovery calls with companies and organizations that are considering, but have yet to retain, my services:

1.      There is value in my education and experience. I completed four years of undergraduate college and four years (evening school) of law school. I studied for and scored high on both the LSAT and two bar exams, and went through the gauntlet of getting a law license. I have a wealth of experience spanning sectors and decades. This, in addition to self-study and a highly versatile set of life experiences informs my ability to see what others don’t see, articulate what others can’t express, and accomplish what others cannot. As Theresa M. Robinson, ABD recently reminded me, when a client pays for a half hour of time, they’re paying for the heavy investments and deep experience of the past several decades, not just the half hour. This is why salaries for high-level executives with required degrees and decades of experience are higher than those at junior levels. It should also be noted that you get what you pay for; I’ve never been very impressed with anyone who offered a “free consultation.” So why in the world would it be ok for a company or organization to expect my professional services for free?

2.      I have an overexploited identity. I am a woman, and was a single, working mother since I was a teenager in the 1990s. I have paid dues that weren’t even recognized as such for almost 30 years, from daycare and extra commuting to company party organizing. I know I’ll never get compensated for these things at this late date, but as leaders like Reshma Saujani acknowledge,  I should have. As US professionals grow to recognize that we’ve been sold short all these years through exploitative labor practices, and the gender pay gap persists, why in the world would I choose to rip myself off by giving away free labor?

3.      The opportunity cost is high. Since there’s no guarantee that a discovery call will lead to paid work, I can’t even rightly call it an investment. I’m not a salesperson. I provide professional services; a discovery call inevitably will involve me using my expertise and experience to assess a client’s needs and provide some measure of advice. That is literally my “product” insofar as I have one. Unlike sales of a product, however, spending time providing free services costs me the time that I could otherwise be doing billable work. It’s not as if I have “free samples” built into my budget; my time is the product. Why in the world would a client think they are entitled to that value for free, when current clients to whom I am contracted are paying for it?

4.      Inflation is real. It’s no secret that people who have never worked for themselves can’t really conceive of all of the costs of running a business that don’t compare to being an employee. I, myself, have balked at the bottom line on contracts when I was managing consultants as an employee (and I’m sorry!) The costs of health insurance, retirement contributions, equipment, and other expenses are ever-increasing and necessary to cover. In this context, why in the world would I serve a company for free that has made no investment in me? I can’t pay my internet bill with someone’s gratitude!

5.      The people asking for unpaid work are getting paid to do it. Quite literally. Every employee of a company or organization is requesting information about my company and how I would fulfill their needs as part of their job description. They’re scheduling time with me while on their employers’ clock. Even where they are seeking my services in connection with a “voluntary” ERG or other effort, they are doing this work in service of a relationship with an entity that is providing them with a salary and benefits. Why in the world would they expect me to do the same for free?

6.      I’m not a commodity for browsing. There is something that just feels objectifying about being in a position to have to “pitch” myself to a prospective client without compensation. In particular if I am not the one to approach them and/or we have been connected through a referral, being expected to hawk my services for no compensation seems, in my estimation, a bit like being the mannequin in a shop window. If I wanted to go through the gauntlet of job interviews, I’d look for a job that provides me retirement benefits and health insurance, and a big title with more power. Instead, I am trading services for money, like any other professional entrepreneur. I am sure there will be those who argue that “chasing leads” is part of being in business for yourself, but I also know that those who provide professional services often weed out unserious “customers” by charging a consultation fee. Why in the world should I allow a big-budget company or organization to browse through my brain for free and walk out the proverbial door?

7.      I’m not a box to check. With regard to both procurement and employee recruitment, companies and organizations are increasingly being called upon to ensure they are considering diverse slates of candidates and multiple bids, which I consider to be absolutely necessary and an important practice to provide opportunities to historically excluded folks. There are, however, always going to be those who are simply fulfilling metrics, knowing good and well they already know who they want to hire/contract with, and they have no real intentions of bringing on the people they interview (as alleged by Brian Flores in a recent scandal within the NFL). I’m not interested in providing the “woman-owned business” metric for a company that has no real intention of doing business with me. Requiring a discovery call fee will certainly help to dissuade those who are using your firm to meet their diversity target. Even if your discovery call is actually a box to be checked by a company with no intention of utilizing your services, at least you have gotten some measure of value for your time.

7.      Setting the bar high helps others. The more we set boundaries as professional services consultants, the harder it is for companies to engage in exploitative behavior. I want fair compensation and healthy work environments for everyone, and especially those who have historically and continue to be subjected to inequitable and exploitative practices. By insisting that my labor is compensated, I empower others to do the same – as others have empowered me.

So that’s it. That’s my why. There are probably other good reasons, and I invite you to point them out. We all deserve to make a living, to feel valued, and to meet our material needs and pursue our financial goals in exchange for our labor. From now on, for me and my company, that starts on day one.

If you’d like to book a 45-minute discovery call, please feel free to schedule: https://calendly.com/silleckconsulting/45mindiscoverycall